Standing on my mess!!

I wonder when life got so complicated....it was so easy back then when all you have to worry is about ur homework and to comb ur hair the right way or to make that perfect knot in ur shoelace...those times are gone, gone forever never to return. I wish I can go back to my childhood when I can feel the innocence, the bliss of ignorance, the glee of the wind on my face, the unconditional love of parents, the fights between siblings, the slumber party with frens, the tiffins sharing at school, the beauty of simplicity and everything about it....

When did life became so complicated and decisions so difficult to make? When did I started hurting people and people getting hurt coz of me? How is it possible that u have to give up the thing u want the most just coz somebody else deserves it more? When did I started accepting defeat? When did I start giving up? How is it even possible to let someone walk all over u and not say a word? Is it possible to fall in love with two persons at the same time? How can we "let go" of someone who meant the world to you? When did my life started revolving around a single person? When did I stop caring and loving...or better still....when did I stopped being cared and being loved? Is this fair? Where do I trace myself?

May be its the age or experience or whatever they say but life sure has taught me profound lessons. I screwed up a lot of things and I know its my basic nature to not let things happen the way its meant to be...and just when things begin getting better....my instincts get the hold of me and I mess it up.....and a mess is all I have all the time........but atleast its better than not having anything at all.

"Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all"............Lady Antebellum