Wednesday, 3 August 2016

Bitterness speaks!

Today I read this amazing line. “Some days you meet someone and you immediately know you wanna spend the rest of your life WITHOUT them”. I know this feeling. I have always tried to surround myself with positive people, kind hearted, forgiving souls, people who will go out of the way to help others. I am no saint for sure – my friends and I take pleasure in stupid gossips, narcissistic indulges to feel good about ourselves; we all have been hurt and hurt others; we have drank away our griefs at times and uplifted each other in weird ways. I can never imagine them plotting away to malign someone’s character or humiliate them publicly. It is strange for me. And I am sure it is for those who share the same thought process as me. Recently I had this humiliating encounter of being roasted in between; raising voices around me to the point of embarrassment and there I was standing solely, lost, not knowing what to do. I just wanted it to end. Whoever was wrong or whoever was right, it is not important anymore. I wish I was at a position to stop it and I just felt like they took advantage of my naïve nature. It just didn’t feel right. Age old grudge they nurture in their hearts and one fine day, the storm arrives and tore apart all relations and the peripheries too. Its no more cordial anymore. Earlier atleast you could fake a smile or fake a “Hello” but now the strand has been butchered by sheer volume of words and tone. Aaaahhhhh!! Women!! I admire strong, intelligent women with a kind heart. But women who try to intimidate others with sheer noise and crap that comes out of their mouth I hate. For a change, why not keep our minds confined to serve the purpose for which we are paid to do, finish the fucking job and go back to wherever hole we came out of. Why interfere in personal spaces, why talk behind back, why raise voice to prove superiority, why not keep the damn politics away!! Sometimes its just so hard to ignore or just walk away!

I have a loving family to go back home to, and no matter how my day went, I have someone who can straighten all the creases of the day with just a simple word. I do not wish to carry my baggage of such days back home. And I had to let go of this restlessness so here I am writing it out. I wish they do the same. I wish them well and really hope that someone out there loves them and straighten all the twists they had. Kindness pays, my dear! For once, shed the bitterness and spare a moment to be kind. The consequences will surprise you! AMEN

Friday, 8 July 2016


My first lines at Notegraphy! I love the styles...makes my words look exotic and thoughtful (hahaha)

Tuesday, 19 April 2016

Munnar - A Trip to Remember

After weeks of planning and researching on every possible way to visit Munnar, Kerala, our group decided to hire a Scorpio from self-drive car rental service Zoomcar and decided to go on a road trip; the vehicle to be driven by 2 of our friends who proudly flaunt their driving skills. And as it turns out, the boys were filled with admiration of the vehicle throughout the trip and one of them have even decided that Scorpio will be his next purchase (lol)

We started at around 4 am from Bangalore and took regular breaks in between to feed our lenses, stretch our legs, drink coconut water and sometimes just to soak in the pleasure of meeting each other after months. We went via Bangalore- Hosur-Krishnagiri-Salem highway stopping at Salem for breakfast, marveling at the vast stretch of windmills along the way whom one of my friend called out excitedly as “Hey, look at those big fans!!” and thus the uproar of laughter and legpulling continued. My husband who happens to graduate from Government College of Engineering, Salem showed us his campus as we drive and went on a nostalgia trip and it was equally reminiscing for me in ways I don’t know as this was the place that made him the man today…the man I love and admire the way he is and I know his growing up years in this place so far away from home sure had a profound impact on him. Brushing away these thoughts and listening to his stories of his college days we talked and laughed our way to Munnar with the best guide ever – Google Map!! All thanks to Google map we could find our way and even the quality of road we will be travelling.

Somewhere along the Highway
After numerous toll gates we reached Chinnar Wildlife Sanctuary wherein the roads are filled with posters warning travelers that wild animals may cross path and each of us were on alert mode hoping and wishing that we meet animals. One of us even claimed to have heard an elephant trumpet which I highly doubt as there were no animals at sight. We did saw some monkeys though. Thank Goodness. And as the stretch of wildlife sanctuary ended with a disappointment, the twists and turns of road began with tea plantations and we could feel the temperature dropping as the altitude soared gradually. It was a heavenly sight. Hills covered with tea estates, waterfalls in distant mountains, clean roads, gulmohars welcoming us with bright red flowers and the wind was breezy and cold. I insisted on stopping the vehicle and got down and breath it all in…the landscape, the lush green hills, the road and did a few steps of tango dance too…it was perfection!!

We reached Munnar around 5.30 pm and found the perfect stay at home “Je’s Home Stay” at Devikulam which is located about 10 kms away from Munnar. It was almost dusk so we shoved our luggage and went in search of nearby tea stalls and experience the famous tea of Munnar which to our delight was more than what we expected. We packed dinner from a nearby restaurant and relished at our home stay as we talked and planned for all the adventures we will be unraveling in the next couple of days.
Dancing in the middle of the road
We began the next day by exploring Devikulam, searching for the perfect place to have breakfast in that perfect morning, enjoyed the strong coffee, idlis and paranthas, took a few clicks and got ready to begin the day. We enjoyed the romantic weather with the twists and turns of the road and stopped by at scenic locations, taking pictures, enjoying the green mangoes, coconut water, roasted corn and running eerily in tea gardens striking poses of all sorts. We stood wonderstruck at Mattupetty Dam admiring its majestic beauty and wondering at the huge water body in the middle of the hills, climbed our way to Top Station View point, meandering downward again to reach the spot and stood awestruck at the view of the royal mountains and the lush green scenery that lay beyond us. We then climbed our way up heart-throbbing, feeling our loud heartbeats and legs shaking out of sheer tiredness and felt awesome and energized. Somewhere as we drove along we could smell delicious biryani and had to turn around in search of it. We then return to our home stay as we take rest for a while and prepare for the night’s bonfire with music arranged by our host. We danced our hearts out, laughing at each other’s silly steps and teaching each other, imitating some of the worst dance moves one can ever imagine, sweating it all out…it was a night to remember as we gathered around the last few flames of the dying fire under that star lit sky, the wind playing with us as we talked about life, relationships, love, friendship with frequent laughter in between with the most important people in our lives. Life is good.

The next day we drove back to Bangalore our hearts heavy and in denial of the things that await us at Bangalore. We spent the last 3 days in paradise in the most perfect way possible with people who have become family. Each of us assured in our hearts that we will visit Munnar again and bade adieu to the beautiful hills and the tea gardens.

As for me, I had the best time ever in that romantic weather in the arms of the one I loved, the spiraling road amidst tea estates and a good playlist, surrounded by wonderful friends. What else do I want!! Life is beautiful!!

Sharing some pictures with you guys!! Its tough selecting just a few...I love them all #NoFilter

Waterfall along the way

Click me, click me :D
Climbing our way up - my heart was in my throat
I love bonfires 

Remains after the bonfire
How can you not love this???
Foodie's paradise too!!

Thursday, 3 March 2016

Transcending Love!

So there is these bunch of young people who had worked really hard to make a video for me as a surprise wedding gift. I know its immense work and can imagine the research they must have done in facebook, the brainstorming, searching old pictures...trying to tell a story which by the way came out just perfect. Distance doesn't matter when there is love and yes, my soul sister who stayed at Delhi was a part of my wedding through whatsapp video call. Isn't this just amazing!! Words fail me to thank these precious ones who went out of the way to make me feel so special.

You know you are blessed when you have loyal friends who always have your back no matter how hard you fall. I am blessed in countless ways and I am most humbled by all these sweet and heartfelt gestures by people who mean the world to me. Perhaps I have been a good person that I met these wonderful souls in my life!

 I love you all with all my heart. Thank you.....thank you...thank you...for making my life beautiful...for the love...for making me feel special...for everything. What am I without you all! 

Enjoy the video!! XOXO

P.S This happens to be the first video in my blog!! Yippee :D

In case the above video doesn't work, here is the facebook link of the video :)

Monday, 4 January 2016

Random Thoughts of a Bride

Just how much is too much is one question which we fail to answer when it comes to living upto the standards which has been set by our society. I have become sabbatical when it comes to my career and have taken a 3 months career break coz I have to plan my wedding and be with my parents with whom I have never spent enough time since I decided to leave home for my studies which was more than a decade ago. And yes, I am genuinely amazed at how well I am doing. My fiancé gets mad at me for wasting this precious time worrying about the future and insists on enjoying the little time left at this place which I have called home since my existence. Seriously I am working on it and trying to avoid panic attacks thinking of this career break and making best use of the few weeks before marriage.

So here it is….I am getting married next month to this wonderful soul who taught me more to respect and receive coz he is the most generous person I ever know. As the countdown to the D day begins there are elephants running in my stomach (oh screw the butterflies), will I be able to handle the responsibilities? I am pampered by my Daddy who uses the most beautiful  and flowery words to correct me if I am wrong so that I don’t feel offended unlike my Mom who barge on me for every slightest mistake I make coz she is damn sure that I will screw up at my in-law’s place. The prep has started, my brothers have started painting the gate and walls of our house…which is like mandatory ritual for a Meetei wedding. My relatives keep pouring into our house, my siblings and friends settled thousands of miles away have all flown in to celebrate my wedding, tea and biscuits are constantly served, everyone is excited, scared, nervous, sad, happy and feeling hell lot of emotions right now.

As for me, I am still lost and clueless as to how I am gonna deal or react. Should I be happy that I am getting married to this man who have sworn to love and protect me and with whom I wanna spend the rest of my life with? Should I be worried about my parents who are getting old with their increasing health issues? Should I be sad on the realization that this place I have called home will no longer be what it was? Its tough really. And I feel like I am breaking from inside. Does every bride feel this way?

For a society like us, life before marriage and after marriage are completely different. As an unmarried girl, I have the freedom coz I live with people with whom I have known throughout my life. I get mad and shout at them and cry when I feel hurt and laugh my heart out when we share jokes, I get up early and go for walks and sometimes can even dare to sleep in pretending to be sick in lazy days. I have got out late evenings with my Daddy sometimes even after dark and enjoyed my days doing nothing lazing away. But now somehow I cannot imagine doing all that again. I have responsibilities now to take care of my new family and respect them. It gonna be different and I wish I am not scared as much as I am right now that I am gonna ruin things.

What I truly feel is that amidst all the shopping, picking up dresses, ordering furniture and basic utilities and spending heaps of money after bargaining like crazy with experienced vendors….its a blessing that I am gonna spend the rest of my life with my favourite person who is just perfect. Both of us have waited long enough and have had our shares of heartbreaks before finding each other and now that we have found each other I realized why it never worked out with anyone else.

Marriage is a union of two souls and two families and with the grace of God I wish to embark upon this journey and bring out the best of each other. For now let me think of all the joys I will be unraveling and rejoice on the love I am showered with from my new family and just enjoy all the attention as long as it lasts (wink)

Cheers to a lifetime of love and happiness. 

Saturday, 5 December 2015

Loving Life

This is my favourite time of the year. I celebrated my birthday last month with some really precious people in my life. The whole day spent at the majestic Taj amidst lakhs of tourists, jostling with the crowd and finding a vacant spot to pose for pics. Well, this birthday was special in a lot of ways…never have I been treated with so much affection and love on my birthday (lol) and yes, hopefully this will be my last birthday as a single woman coz I tie the knot next year. This year had been amazing and I had varied experience from hitting rock bottom, to feeling heartbroken and vulnerable, to being loved unconditionally, to finally accepting the fact that in parting do we know the depth of love and friendship and yes, finally making the right decision in matters of the heart, putting an end to all the self-created miseries that slowly burnt me away and learning to let go of things that wasn’t meant to be, and yes, believing in love again. How lucky I am to have these mighty hearts that love me unconditionally!! Isn’t it a blessing to realise that there is always that one person who will stand by you even if everyone else have left? I feel blessed and my heart is smiling coz I have these incredible people in my life who never let me down. I am special, yes, may be more because I am chosen to be loved by them inspite of all my flaws. And I am thankful and I swear to make a difference in the lives of people around me and make them feel as blessed as me.

Saturday, 7 March 2015

International Women’s Day

I have never really liked the idea of keeping a separate day for women. This is just another reminder that man and woman are not equal and that as long as women continue to feel special on such days there is so much left to be done. It amazes me as to why there is a need for women to seek equality with man. Are we in some kind of competition with man? I guess not. So why do women always feel the pressure to be equal to man...can’t we just pursue excellence? But having cited my opinion, I do realize that there is still a long long long way to go before we stop keeping aside a special day for women…coz for now…there is a need to ensure safety of women and to enjoy her basic rights as a human all across the globe.

I watched the BBC documentary India’s daughter – a must watch for every citizen of this country. I have shared in my facebook page and so did many users but the Govt. have been blocking URLs and sweeping the dirt of our society under the carpet. The Govt. is supposedly running out of ideas to impose ban…the ridiculous beef ban, censoring use of word “lesbian” in movie, banning the movie “50 shades of Grey”  (So those who didn’t intend to watch the movie earlier are downloading it from torrent and watching it! I have read the book anyway), now the documentary is banned. What is with the ostrich mindset of our authorities! Keep your head covered under sand and you think the problem is not there? This is the truth. The sooner we face it, the better. A few months ago, I watched the interview of an actress who talked about the plight of women in India…the dowry deaths, child marriages during her visit abroad and she was slammed by a reporter here in India who accused her of degrading the name of the nation. She proved her point and stated that it is happening…she only said the truth and said that she can’t be a hypocrite and pretend as if all these social evils do not exist. It is a shame that in an attempt to protect the image of the country, the society is degrading day by day. Child Sex Ratio declined from 945 in 1991 to 927 in 2001 to 918 in 2011 (Census Report).

The documentary only shows the obvious sorry state of affairs of the country. Should we feel sorry for the old parents of the rapist who committed suicide? Or should we be shocked at the statement of the wife of the rapist who still can’t believe that her husband will do such an act and even told that if her husband is hanged she has no choice but to kill her son as well as she has no means of survival. The problem is much deeper. In this deeply maligned patriarchal society of ours, woman is subjected to all forms of abuse – physical, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse. I am sure every woman in India has faced atleast one form of abuse. If not abused, there is always this fear...of not feeling safe.

Recently, an office colleague of mine in his early 50s offered to help me get a better position and asked what I would give him if I get selected. Out of courtesy, I replied whatever you want, Sir. He had worked in the North East for some years and I thought he would have wanted something ethnic from my native place. All this while, I have considered him a father figure and was being polite and it all went down the drain when he said “I want you.” Yes, he said “I want you” 3-4 times. So naïve I was that the first time he told me that, I still thought maybe he was referring to my personality…but when he repeated it I was too shocked to react. Later, it dawned on me...his intentions…and no matter how much my friends are supportive of me, I feel guilty. Have I ever given a wrong signal to him? How could he garner the courage to speak like that to me? Why me? Am I too shallow or cheap? Is it the way I dress or that I smile and greet my seniors? I know the fault is not in me. And no, I am not going to play the “North East” card…that coz I am from North East, he thought I am easy. NO. If not me, it would have been some other girl…and who knows how she would have handled. One thing is for sure, nothing is worth it…job, money….nothing is worth such humiliation. So while I deal with this pervert and seek to teach him a lesson soon enough I feel for the millions of woman who have been harassed at homes and at work…whose voices have been silenced. The whole episode keeps repeating in my mind and every time it angers me for I did not give an apt reply that would shut him up. I am lucky that I have close friends whom I can confide to who have gone through the same ordeal. It is a disgrace…how many women must be facing the same emotional turmoil with no one to talk to.  So where should the change begin? Educated fools like the pervert in my office and those shitty lawyers who defend the rapists are grim reminders of how failed the education system is.

Such a fake democracy we have! The statement by our political leaders that the mob lynching of alleged rapists at Dimapur will be dealt with appropriately, made me laugh. Why don’t these morons realize that the public has lost faith in the judicial system and therefore, has taken the law in their own hands.  I have never supported mob lynching but it is better to castrate the rapists and kill them in public rather than see them undergo trials and let imprudent lawyers blame the victim and the trial would go on forever. Social media is filled with comments supporting the mob lynching...such is the frustration of the masses….the plight of women.

I live in the Rape Capital of India. I live in fear. I try to reach home before dark and dress sensibly. And so do many women I know. We live in fear. We do not mind jostling in the ladies’ coach of the metro rather than enjoying some space in the other coaches where men travel. I do not say that all men are the same. Chivalry is not dead. But I cannot risk it. For, someday if I complain of being touched inappropriately, people will blame me for not travelling in the ladies’ coach. This is India and it’s better to be safe than sorry.

And I know that as long as I reach home early coz I feel unsafe to reach after dark and not out of my choice there is a need for International Women’s Day.