Happy Wo(MAN)'s day!!

A few days ago, I had many of my friends especially my guy friends wishing me “Happy Women’s Day”…I had nothing else to say except politely thank them. I wish there’s also a Men’s day so that we can appreciate men for all the great works they’ve done for our species. Somehow I feel sorry that amidst all this hue and cry of women empowerment and rights of women and such serious feminist stuffs, somewhere along the way, we have generalized all men to be chauvinists. We have painted them all with the same colour which is really really unfair.

Last week when I was at Delhi, infamously called as the Rape capital, I was all geared up with a pepper spray in hand, flaunting it to the taxi driver as I was travelling alone. He must have read my mind or something coz he had that stupid looking smirk on his face and I ended up feeling stupid. After reaching my destination, he handed my luggage, smiled politely and asked “Madam, aur kuch?? I could not help but smile at his innocence. Am I really becoming so self-possessed and judgmental? Or it may be just that we are just too preoccupied with fending ourselves that we risk losing our courteous manners.

On a positive note, I must admit that life is so much easier being a woman. Quite often there’s always a chivalric gentlemen who offers his seat while I am hustling in a crowded bus, the queue is definitely quicker for women be it in banks, post office or any other public services, I can hold hands with my best friend whenever I want without disapproving stares, it just take a couple of hours to get a hundred likes when I upload a picture, and many times a flirty smile is all it takes to get a work done. And so often many of the guys tease me saying “Why do you need a PhD? There is some nice guy out there earning a PhD for you. You just have to find him”!! As easy as that!! In short, there’s so much to celebrate about being a woman.

As for me, no matter how much tall claims they make, I just cant understand the need to have a separate day to celebrate being a woman. We talk about equality on one hand and again we feel special when we have such separate days for us. We protest for equality and yet we have this unfair reservation policies which segregates us into different categories!! What an irony!! How about empowering our girls to be independent and teaching them how to give and earn respect? Let us teach our girls to say NO at the right time not at the expense of losing her modesty and grace. After all, women are in no competition against men. If equality is what we are striving for, then so be it…..we are only humans and let us stay humane. 

Valentine's Day chants!!

Ah, here it is again, my favourite time of the year…the month of February. I never knew that they have a thing called Valentine’s week until last year with all these days…Chocolate day, Teddy day, Promise day, Hug day and oh…there’s even a Kiss day!! Its Valentine’s day today; no doubt love is in the air. Whatever they say, love will always be the HAPPENING thing. Perhaps this is the reason why inspite of all these bans on celebrating Valentine’s Day and a modest crowd going Anti-Valentine, there is a dearth of people who’s leaving no stone unturned to convey their love.

 I bet it’s the busiest time of the year for florists. I have never really sent flowers to anyone. All thanks to facebook, I learnt that there’s a Ferns and Petals store at Imphal (my hometown) and I was super-excited. I guess I inherited my craze for flowers from my Mom…she makes sure that our home has all these pretty flowers blooming and she sure has green fingers. So, I called the Ferns and Petals number from their website…oh it wasn’t working so I emailed them. They responded within hours and called me back. I ordered a bunch of roses of different colours and before I could tell for whom I was ordering, the guy at the other end of the line interrupted sweetly. He said in his most sincere tone “Mam, I am sorry to tell you this but you see as you know, here in Manipur, our society reacts a little differently when we go to deliver flowers to girls….if you know what I mean…..the fathers and brothers have all these questions…….” I stopped him immediately. “Oh, I am ordering flowers for my Mom, so its okay” I smiled and told him. I could feel him exhale out of relief. He again apologized. I totally understand his situation. I am sure the delivery guy must have had many misadventures when he goes to deliver flowers. I can hardly think of my Dad’s reactions if a cute guy comes with a bunch of flowers for me….he’d surely be cornered…big time!! The florist went on to tell that a few days ago he delivered flowers to a girl, ordered by his boyfriend from Bangalore to surprise her. The girl was beaming so happily when she took the flowers that he could not help but feel happier and contented. And this is what keeps him moving…..to spread love, to make strangers happy, or perhaps just to make someone feel special.

So to all my amazing readers, here’s what it is. Let us not stop loving. Let us not stop hoping and moving on. What really matters is that through all the embarrassments and guilt trips, through all the pain and sleepless nights and broken hearts, you can still hope that love is sure more closer to you than someone who has never loved anybody at all. Just for a moment, let us shed our ego, our pride, our arrogance and be true to our feelings. Let us bring a smile to someone who is less happy than us, someone who need more love than we do. What we all need is a little bit more love.

Perhaps this will make Valentine’s Day even more meaningful.

Happy Valentine’s Day folks!!

Words put together

I don’t know for whom I write. I know there are millions who write better than me and many times my writings are not even worth reading. Its just that all this scribbling has become a way of my life and perhaps I have learnt to tame my heart, my fears and forgive myself through sheer words. Some of my friends told me that they understand me better through my writings and some even claim that I am an emotional freak so easy to please….God, they are right!! It all began when I was a kid, when I got my first diary and its all still there….all my memories of childhood, all these years as I grew up to be the person I am today….everything. Earlier I used to write for myself but now how I wish I can write for a better purpose. I keep striving but I know I have too many flaws and it only makes me feel smaller. May be I am just another girl with just another dream.

 I guess tonight is one of those many nights when I feel awfully worthless and the only way to seek solace is to look at the dark sky and feel the vast emptiness envelop me. 

And for you, my forgiven past, I write.

New beginnings

Five days into the New Year and here’s my first post of the year. So the Mayan fiasco has come to an end and we survived….what a huge relief!! As for me, my new year began in the best note with huge surprises and heart melting gestures, amidst giggling friends fighting the brutal cold…..and I know…I just can feel that this year is gonna be great and to tell you that hopefully this may be the last year that I will be a “student” as I intend to submit my PhD thesis and bid goodbye to student life….this is huge!!

Nonetheless, I can’t help but pay tribute to the 23 year old who was gang raped. My heart reaches out for her. She must be unaware of the events of the day when she stepped off from home on that fateful day…that her world will come to a crashing end by the brutality of some men whom the entire nation condemn...just another girl whose death shook the entire nation but the repercussions are yet to be seen.

I wonder how many rape victims got justice coz it’s just that when finally all the hues and cries of the masses have dwindled down and everyone get busy with their lives, the victim will still be haunted with the ghosts of the past and will be left struggling for a lifetime....It is like a social disease and it’s a shame that the Delhi case seems to have triggered many such incidents all over the country as we find media reports of such horrific incidents everyday adorning the pages of the dailies. What else do we say? We need to change the mentality of the society first instead of playing blame games.

So my New Year wishes is that, let the spirit ignited by “Damini” “Nirbhaya” “Amanat” not go in vain. Let every women get the respect she deserves. May this New Year bring peace to my homeland and to every reader of my blog, may every day be a day worth celebrating.

Wishing you all a year filled with love, hope, peace, happiness and success. :)

Rest in Peace sister.

As I blow the candle......

A page from my diary:

I turned a year older a few days ago. And as much as I wanted to keep it discreet, I should say my birthday wishes are still pouring in now. I guess as I add more numbers in my age, I have outgrown that feeling of having birthday bashes; which is perhaps the reason why I didn’t feel the need to update in facebook and which many of my online friends complained later. I wanted it simple. As I blew the candle amidst the echoing laughter and giggles of my friends in my room, I felt happy and realized that I have certainly grown older but wiser for sure. It is a pleasure to bask in the attention even if it lasted just for a day. I know it will be completely different a year later, when I move out of hostel but for now its all about friends storming in my room at midnight and singing “Happy Birthday” with a chocolate cake in hand. I am sure going to miss this one. The bestest thing is the little surprises we get and for me it was a phone call which announced that I had a bouquet waiting for me from friends who cared enough to remember my love for flowers and I smiled all through the tears as I hugged my best friend and couldn’t thank her enough for making my day special. May be that was the emotional me or the stupid me but its okay to be stupid sometimes isn’t it? I don’t have to be perfect, not anymore.

All these years have taught me profound lessons on life, family, friendship and love and made me the person that I am today. I am sure not missing out the opportunity to thank the folks who walked out of my life….You guys paved way for better things to fall in, for making me realize that there is light at the end of the tunnel, for hurting me and making me a stronger person and above all for making me have faith in love yet again. So screw you coz I have better things in store for me.... It is indeed a blessing to be surrounded by people who love me for what I am, the way I am with all my imperfections and from whom you can learn a lot about life. Thank you for making my life more beautiful. I am just beginning to understand the purpose of everything and it only makes me appreciate life better.

Love you all!! Cheers!! XOXO :D

Food Water Love

I guess it must be an amazing feeling, fasting for the one you love. Intriguing it is, but it must be wonderful to realise that someone hasn’t taken a morsel of food nor sipped a drop of water because she is praying for your safety and prosperity. Even if it is cliché, sometimes all we need is faith rather than hard core scientific facts. I guess its the media hype and cheesy portrayal in movies which has boomed the popularity of “Karvachauth” among the youths – both married and unmarried. Its the most happening thing this season as newly married brides groom themselves up weeks ahead for this special day. And many of my single friends, who are feminists, still insist that unless their better half fast with them, why should they bother? They do have a point. May be finally when they meet that perfect guy, they will brush away such stands and join the many happy women who gladly stay hungry for the sake of their beloved. So, basically it is an occasion when married women pray for their husbands, unmarried girls secretly keep a fast for their boyfriends and singles happily fast for their prospective better halves and when the much anticipated moon appears in the horizon in the late evening, they break their fast by sipping water and eating the first morsel of food of the day which her beloved lovingly feeds. Isn't it just sweet?

All these while that I stayed in North India, this ritual has always captivated me. Isn’t it just cute to get all so hyped up and go out of the way for the one you love? Of course, I have friends who had many misadventures about the fast in the most amusing way. I have a friend whom I have known for 4 years. Every year she fasts for the prosperity of her love, but unfortunately it has been 3 different persons that she had fasted for, as it let from one failed relationship to another. Now, she has decided to wait for the worthy guy instead of blindly following the crowd.  Also, I had a friend who popped in a rasgulla coz she forgot that she was fasting. You should have seen the look on her face when she realised the blunder. She blurted out “I think I will go to hell. I just ruined my first Karva chauth I am such a disappointment. Please don’t tell Sameer about this”. I guess that will forever be our little secret.

A few years ago distance was such big concerns during such special days but nowadays all we need is a skype id or an email id for video calling. Interestingly, we do have bikes menacing near girl’s hostel and girls waiting in the terrace to have a glimpse of the one they love to complete the ritual and celebrate their love. Even if its way too overrated, it is a happy occasion when love is rekindled or perhaps another way to feel an even purer and mystical form of love. Its about sacrifice and patience and faith. It is a celebration of love and life.

Happy Karvachauth to all. Wish you lots of love and happiness. :):)

Wedding calls

*I must warn you this post is super cheesy!! :)

Well, one of my best friends called me up and told me that her wedding date is decided. I shrieked with excitement and lost count of the “Congratulations, so happy for you" and the kinds of it. I, so wanted to hug her and share the moment with her. With a deep breath, a sigh and of course, with promises to see each other on her wedding day we said goodbye. And what followed was a dreamy silence, my heart ever so mellow.

I have heard people say that “True love is like a ghost, many have heard about it but few have experienced it” and I guess I am among the ones who have heard of it or maybe, just maybe I am beginning to experience it (ahem)!! My friend, however are the lucky ones who have experienced it throughout her life. The few people who make me believe that true love does exist still, that you can love one person for your entire life, that high school sweetheart can become your life partner in real life, that love can still conquer distance, time and busy schedules. It is just so beautiful, so pure.

Every girl dreams of the perfect wedding since her childhood, ever since the times that we marry our dolls and give them away just coz they are married. It’s the truth. Every girl is worried if an untimely pimple will ruin our looks on our wedding day or if the dress will not match the make-up and every other significant detail we can think of. C’mon, its not every day that we get to be the bride!! Imagine all those people dressed up just for you, the music, the rituals, the decorations and everything else….just for you, for just a day of your life. How special is that!! Of course, we dream of the perfect wedding, the perfect place, the cards, the gifts, the guests, the food, the dress, the make –up and everything else perfect and we do realize that what is really important is the one for whom we are bounded for a lifetime, for him to understand how much all these means to us. I have never quite pictured myself there but I guess it will be overwhelming yet sad, knowing that there is this person who will stand by you for the rest of your life and bidding goodbye to a place whom you’ve called “home” throughout this years.

So with all these thoughts in mind, I wish the soon-to-be-wedded couple keep falling in love with each other over and over again while I begin my hunt for the perfect dress as I get to play the part of the bride’s friend.  <wink>