Oh, My people!!

Turned on my lap-top yesterday, surfed my favourite sites and it was everywhere....10th Manipur Legislative Assembly Election 2012 Results....news updates and timelined results, some updating the results, many commenting and providing useful insights, and many more merely enjoying the scene and ignoring the heated exchange of words, thoughts and anger. Even my Dad called me all so super-excited coz his candidate won.

It was a day of overwhelming joy for those who won, and for the many who've lost, a day as gloomy as ever, and still for many more people just another day. Nothing changed for them and it is this section of people for whom the highest concern is. They say "ignorance is bliss" and perhaps it best describes the vast majority of the people of Manipur and the situation of Manipur. The entire process of election was a faux paas. Our citizenship bought and sold and now its time to pay the price. For the next five year we have no choice but to stay back and bear the consequences. The 3 month long economic blocade, recent bomb blasts that shook the valley not to mention the decade long struggle for repealing AFSPA, innocent killings, issues of territorial integrity of Manipur, deteriorating education systems, unethical and corrupted system of the entire Government offices are the major forerunners in the never ending list of political and social problems of Manipur. For sure, each problem cannot be isolated as they are intricately woven as the roots of the present state of turmoil can be traced about half century ago and the struggle of the masses goes on. 

The irony is that the people remains seemingly untroubled and have adjusted their lifestyles from living without power supply for days altogether to paying 200 bucks for a litre of petrol to witnessing security personnels going haywire and firing innocent public. Atleast this is what the results indicate......we are just not yet ready for a change and until there is no mass awakening the hue and cry of the  afflicted few will fall into deaf ears as it always have throughout this years.

The winds of change just seem so distant....and its just hope and only hope that remains. 

No good no bad

So near yet so far
So affectionate yet so arrogant
So arrogant yet so romantic
So passionate yet so angry
So angry yet so caring
So proud yet so true
So bold yet so shy
So rude yet so cool
So heartless yet so faithful
So strong yet so soft
So humorous yet so abusive
So cheerful yet so unpredictable
So impressive yet so docile
So patient yet so hostile
So difficult yet so easy
Living with and without you :)

It's a LEAP year

So 2012 is a leap year and today i.e 29th Feb comes after every 4 years. May be this is one of the reason why its considered special. My geography high school teacher had explained us about leap years. I remember it has something to do with the spinning of the earth, something about revolving around the sun, 6 hours increased every year for 4 years consequently making 24 hours which is added in the month of Feb...God know why?

As for me, being a romantic fool that I am, I love February and November. I have my own reasons. February being the most romantic month and we have a special extra day after every 4 years and November coz I was born on a lucky November morning. :)

Leap year have always rung a bell for me ever since I read a story during my childhood about a young girl who confessed her love on a leap year. Isn't that just sweet? My friends laugh at me for all my weird beliefs  and crazy stunts but I find no harm in them if it means walking that extra mile just to make someone feel special.

So the whole point of a leap year is that its a day when guys can be at the receiving end and girls can confess their feelings without a doubt...of course it can be done on other days as well, but isn't it just cute that we have a special day and perhaps just another reason to fall in love again.

So shifting my  paradigm from girls to guys, I wonder how a totally macho guy feel when a sweet girl innocently confesses her love to him...or may be if she just sent him flowers with a simple note. I've always rationalized relationships from a girl's point of view but recently one of my guy friends told me that guys feel as much love, shame, hurt and pain in relationships as a girl feels. No wonder I've seen guys blinking away tears when they saw their gal going out of her way and doing her bit. I wonder how many lucky man experienced this feeling today. Its all about making someone feel special coz of you and even if today is just another day, I feel if it means making someone happy and blessed whats the big deal even if we are so hyped up over a mere change of date.

As always, I am saying it again...."Its always a great feeling to know that somebody likes you". Wish you a very HAPPY LEAP YEAR and a life filled with love and happiness :)

The night before……

There she sits on her bed, fearing and hoping that tomorrow never comes. She knew it was genuinely wrong to think of someone else when the next day she was to be bonded for a lifetime to another man.

Had she been given the chance to write her life all over again, she’d have happily grabbed it. With a broken heart she remains, not knowing what to do, her eyes tired of holding back her tears. They say, years later you don’t remember any but it seems so impossible now – whatever happened to the dreams she had.

Throughout her life she’ll stay – holding her broken heart close to her. If only he understood her, if only he realised that she’s a princess within, her life would have been much different and may be better.

Today for the last time she held her lost love close and cried one last time for all the times she was let down, all her lost hopes – one final time coz tomorrow she’s gonna be a different self and somehow she wants to shed her former self and start all over again. As tonight ends she is letting her memory slip from her hands like sands and letting the past bury itself. May be for the rest of her life she’ll compromise and sacrifice for the sake of happiness of a known stranger and bury all the pain in her heart but in nights like this she’ll cry hopelessly wishing for a hope – a miracle –may be – and will go on for the rest of her life.

But tonight her apprehensions got the better of her. There she sat alone and wandering away at the sudden turn of events in her life and realising how cruel life can be coz she deserved much better… much more beyond what she had ever had. 

An evolving generation

Tonight I am writing about some issues I am concerned with, as a professional of Human Development and taking a break from the regular chantings of my personal dramas....

A major concern in the development of children in today's context is the ever increasing trend of video games, social networking, virtual friends and the resonating effect of media that affects these innocent minds in ways which we can never imagine. Gone are the days when kids get together in the afternoons to play those indigenous sports which was passed on to generations. As a kid, my favourite was playing with small pebbles which I later realised contributes to fine motor reflexes of the hands and better co-ordination of the eye and hand movement. Similarly, traditional games of sticks, hopping around in one leg by throwing a piece of slate, group games of thief and soldiers, chasing each other on piggy rides  has its own significance leading to the development of gross muscles, fine muscles and most importantly socialization of children of heterogeneous and homogeneous age-groups. Socialization process and interaction among children had an altogether different meaning a decade ago.

These traditional games and sports are a thing of the past as unprecedented changes have taken place in our society as a consequence of globalisation and technological revolution. Child rearing practices have changed eventually. The saying "Spare the rod, spoil the child" is one of the worst quote in today's context. In cities, nonavailability of space has led to fewer outdoor sports which serve as one of the most important causal factor for childhood obesity. All the more kids are confined in their homes with uncensored exposure to media and internet.  Video games and internet have substituted the traditional games. Thus, a child's cognitive development is enhanced through such activities and problem solving capacities is refined but an even greater aspect of the physical development remains uncertain. For the well-being of a child, all round development is important in terms of - physical, social, emotional, language, cognitive and motor development. At such, parents, teachers and care takers have the absolute role as they are the first environment a growing child interacts with.

Social change is an inevitable process. For a society to develop we need to sow the good seeds to the growing generation. Being a slave to change mindlessly is a not a choice we can risk. Understanding the changing needs of the child and empowering ourselves with the prerequisite knowledge of child development and catering to their needs is perhaps the best investment which we can make for ourselves, for our family and for the society. 

Come lets make the world a better place for our kids!! :)

Being FAT and FINE

Since my childhood, I've always had issues with my weight. I was one of the fattest girls in the class and was often the laughing stock of the class. Teenage years passed by with futile attempts to lose the extra kilos....apart from dieting I tried everything...exercising, dragging myself out of bed everyday for my morning walks, cycling everyday to school, paper cutting newspaper clips that mentioned anything about being slim, reducing weight blah, blah....but throughout school and college my reputation remained untarnished.

It seemed like everybody was amused on my being fat. Names like "Fatso", "Potato", "Pumpkin", "Drum", "Banana" and "Humpty-Dumpty" followed wherever I went.....but wait...Isn't Humpty-Dumpty the cute guy with the big head in comics? Why did they called me Humpty-Dumpty? My head is not big like his...I should have pointed out for them. I guess for them all round things implied fat.

No, No and yet another NO

Well, dieting has never been on my things-to-do list. I love eating and relish food. Seriously, the mentality of skinny girls exerting control on eating has always remained a mystery for me. They say its ANOREXIA NERVOSA...that's when they are actually thin and they think they are fat. I guess in my case it's the opposite, even if I am half a dozen kilo overweight I've always considered myself to be slim and pretty...may be this is also some psychological condition....I'll call it....VALEXIA TINOSA after my name.I am lucky coz my best frens follow the same principle and are real foodies. We love hanging out with guys who have the same opinion... who love eating. My fren once dumped a guy coz he told her that she's a voracious eater. May be he likes girls who are finicky eaters...certainly not our type. Inspite of the meagre monthly allowances, we always spare some to dine in our favourite restaurants and spice up our taste buds.

Of course, my heart pains when my favourite pair of jeans betray me or when that new dress threatens to tear away when I force myself in..not to mention the jealousy in my heart when I see young girls sporting that perfect figure and adorning themselves with the best designer dresses....but definitely these are not worth starving for and not torturing myself for sure. I rather eat lots and work out even more.

I read somewhere that a woman sheds those extra kilos somewhere in her early 20s...and I guess the miracle happened with me as well. Apart from the regular sessions of sweating which I immensely enjoy in the Badminton court there is nothing to which I can consider as a work-out regime. Perhaps this is the only reason why I lost that baby fat. May be another reason is that I love running in the evenings especially when I am stressed or hitting low....and when I am sad, I prefer sweating it away in the court.

So, if you're reading this and relating to yourself know that every girl has all the right in the world to feel beautiful and beauty is not judged by mere appearances and certainly not by how much she weighs. Its what lies inside her, her aura that she exhibits and her personality. And I know YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

As for me I am definitely FAT but I am FINE, thank you!! :)

Falling in and out of love

I hold it true, whate'er befall;

I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

-         Alfred Lord Tennyson

My friends call me a hard core romantic. I have grown up falling in love with Mills & Boon, fantasizing the characters, assuring myself that someday someone will fall on his knees in front of me and say those four words which every girl hopes to hear one day. I always heave a deep sigh when I see couples heads over heels in love, holding hands, doing silly, crazy and cute things all in the name of love.

I’ve never really understood love. For a girl like me falling in love is not a Herculean task. All it takes is a glance, a smile, a nice gesture and that’s it and the next moment I’m all yours; as one of my ex-boyfriend described me as “easy to please”. I’ve never really understood it but I’ve always assumed it to be a compliment. May be it’s the reason I had many misadventures and I am still unable to distinguish between love, infatuation, crush, admiration, puppy love and all synonyms of love. To me in the beginning all appear the same; all have its share of craziness followed by expectations and disappointments and the cycle goes on.

I still remember the first guy I liked at school. It was an altogether one-sided affair and just coz he stood outside the class as a punishment for not doing homework, I gladly hid my homework just to give him company. That was in my 6^th grade. Also, I can’t describe the feeling I had when that new boy came in my class……class 8A. I still remember his soft hair and his deep brown eyes and his cute dimple. And if he said “Present Sir” during attendance, I’d follow suit and when he said “Yes Sir”, I’d say the same and giggle shyly. I had my first heartbreak when I realised that he liked another girl. She was the prettiest in my class and of course the dream of every boy in school. Perhaps that was the first time I learnt to “let go” not realising that it is meant to repeat years later in different circumstances. That was the time I realised that sometimes we need to give up things we really want because they were never meant to be ours.

Moving on with my love life, I had my first date during my high school. We used to steal quick glances without saying a word, used to come early just to spend more time looking at each other and shied away when our eyes met. Perhaps he could feel that I was on an affirmative note with him, or may be his friends persuaded him to ask me out; which of course I gladly agreed.  So we went to this first date of mine with a group of friends. I can’t remember much except that we faced each other in that café without much verbal contact sipping water, coffee, another coffee, and then water when coffee was over. I liked him inspite of the growing discomfort I felt – the way he tried to make me comfortable when he was also equally nervous. It was sweet. Even if love is so hard a word to define, I still claim him to be my first love – first love that drifted away with time, with distance and growing priorities; and since then falling in and out of love has been a regular affair.

I wonder how it’s even possible to say that love happens only once in a lifetime, it’s too sad. Or it may be that it is possible only in the movies. Sometimes I wish life is like the movies with a happy ever after, or atleast if we have a hint when it comes to making decisions.  I wish I am like the leading lady, no matter what mess she had got into; there is this cute guy who brings her flowers and lends her tissues every time Cupid failed her. 

Of course, with love comes all the heartbreak, pain, jealousy, rage, shame, guilt etc. Also, I saw love fade away with time and distance and realised that two perfect persons cannot be perfect for each other. For a girl who is on the verge of break-up, there is nothing more hateful than “You deserve someone better than him”, “Just let it go”, “May be you guys aren’t meant for each other” …..trust me it’s all crap. But then there’s an end to mark a new beginning. So the whole cycle of harmless flirting, falling in and out of love continues and just as you begin believing that time heals all wounds, you realise that time indeed wounds all heals.

Its just that no matter how much a person claims, everybody secretly loves the idea of being in love and it’s always a great feeling to know that somebody likes you – I guess this is the beauty of life or perhaps the only way the world functions. It doesn’t matter if the feeling lasted only for a few days, some months, years or lucky enough to last a lifetime. What really matters is that it was real atleast for a while. Its okay if we’ve messed up a few times, it’s okay if our feelings were never reciprocated, or even if he was stupid enough to walk out of our life. It is perfectly all right if your heart was broken a few times because we still have wonderful friends to hug us and lend us a shoulder to cry on or to get drunk, get high and make fun of us for the silly things said and done while in love and certainly to give that daily dose of moral booster which we so need when a relationship ends. Its okay if you’ve never understood love just the way I am because there are many more like us waiting for a second chance or a fresh new start and who still loves the idea of being in love and surely love will find a way, indifference will find an excuse.

After all it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Happy Valentine’s Week folks!! Cheers!! :)